Revelations

      I can't believe I'll be revealing the real me in this blog. I don't know why this title "The Truth" comes first in my mind after I heard that there is a need for title in doing blog.

     We all have secrets. Huwag na tayong magkaila=). All of us have experienced pretension. (Madalas ko 'tong gawin). And of course, painul things happen to us that we want to be erased in our life.

      Let us first talk about "the truth" behind the hurts I have felt in my nineteen years of living in this unfair world. I am not the kind of person that keeps my emotion. As much as possible, I want to shout it out loud all over the world to free myself from pains and sufferings. Masarap sa pakiramdam! But I have never ever tried it.=( All I do is talk to a friend and let my emotions burst out while I am saying my confessions.

   

Painful Experience about Friends

       When I was on my first year high school, I am close with almost on the whole class but I have these friends that I used to accompany most of the time. Siyempre masaya lagi. Kuwentuhan dito, kuwentuhan don. Asaran dito, asaran don. But suddenly, I noticed that my friends became cold to me for the reasons that I did not know. Until we were on second year, they bullied me. Nagsimula na yung pariparinig at kung anu-ano pa. I was hurt so much by their actions because I treated them well and in a very nice way. I thought they were my true friends pero mali naman pala ko. But now, we're okay. we already forgot these things because that was 7 years ago. Mga bata pa kami nun. Immature pa kung tutuusin.

      The Truth: Even if they treated me that way, although it hurts so much, I did not make any actions that would hurt them. They were still my friends and I remained true to them. I have treasured the moments we have shared together.

Painful experience About Love

      I'll be direct to the point. I had my first boyfriend when I was on my fourth year high school. We have shared our lives for only one month (saglit lang talaga). Few days after our break up, I texted him using my brother's number. Siyempre hindi ako nagpakilala, uso pa nun yung texmate e. E di tinextmate ko siya. Then I ask him, "may gf ka na?", "wala pa", he replied. "Pero nagkagf ka na?". "hindi pa", reply niya ulet. Oh my God! I am his first girlfriend. He denied me! What the hell?! (OA naman haha) Hindi naman ganito yung naging reaction ko, natahimik lang ako bigla tapos sinoli ko na cp ng kuya ko sa kanya. Nasaktan ako nun siyempre. I thought he was proud that I became his girlfriend pero ayun, mali na naman pala ko. (Mali nga kaya ako?) I did not expect na idedeny niya ko, swear! Balikan natin kung panu ko siya binreak. I broke up with him after our tour in Baguio. (tandang-tanda ko pa=)) I call him then ayun na, I didn't let him speak after I spoke.

    The Truth: I regret breaking him. Kung sana lang naging reflective ako at hinayaan ko siya on his way of showing his love for me ee di sana hindi ganun yung nangyari. Sana friends pa rin kami ngayon. Hindi nga kami naguusap sa tuwing magkikita kami haha.

     I am not ashame to reveal all these things because I was young at that time. Tinatawanan ko na nga lang yung mga bagay na 'to 'pag naaalala ko pero ang sarap kasi balik-balikan. Natutuwa ako haha. Even though may mga painful events, there were happy moments that will always be on top of my story.

Pretensions

      Why do we pretend? Are pretensions a negative or a positive act? Lahat naman siguro tayo nagpretend na. Pretension of being happy even if you are not, pretension of knowing the answer but the truth is you don't have any idea about that matter, pretension or acting like a mature person when people are around but you are so immature when you are in your house. All of these pretensions happen. I include "pretension" as part of my revelations because I have done these in my life. There comes a time that I pretend I know something but actually, I did not. I sometimes act that I'm not angry but the truth is I'm already booming. Is pretension an act of maturity or immaturity? Let us consider my second pretension stated above as an example. Pretending you are not angry but deep inside, you are exploding. For me, it is an act of maturity. You control your temper for the sake of not hurting others because you might say words that you did not mean. Another example: You pretend you are happy but deep inside you are crying. This pretension is amazing. It means you are mature enough to handle your personal problems and manage your life. You can smile even though the things around you went wrong. I am bow with the people who can do this pretension.

       But actually, pretension always depends on the situation, on how you pretend and why you pretend. There are some events in our lives that we used to pretend for the better, for our personal reasons. Pretending for me is not deceiving. I pretend but it does not mean I deceive.